With a Subtitle: Don’t skip this check-up, it has an eternal impact.

A brief Excerpt: For the Christian there is a need for genuine repentance, spiritual growth, and a renewed commitment to living a life that honors God.

The Author is: Debra Hodges

A while back, I couldn’t sleep because of an overwhelming sense of guilt over my inability to fight back the urge to go shopping AGAIN. The Holy Spirit led me to a YouTube video that night that smacked me right between the eyes. The content woke me up enough to realize that I really needed to take a personal inventory of my soul. The following are the seven areas I examined to try to get my life back on the right track with God.

1. Sincere or Sham?

Why did I get baptized? Did I feel pressured by family or friends to do it, or did I intend it to show my commitment to following Jesus? Did I really have the new nature promised by Jesus in the New Testament? Had I truly repented of the things I knew grieved God, or was my heart the same as before?

Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

2. Any Spiritual Hunger?

Was I hungry for God’s Word? How much did I desire to know God and grow through His Word? Maybe skimping on spiritual food was making me weak. I remembered what the pastor said in his last sermon, that to change our desires, we had to saturate ourselves with Scripture. It made sense that if I skipped listening to God in His Word, it’s no wonder I was feeling disconnected from Him. Jesus said something similar, conveying the same idea.

But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. (Matthew 4:4)

3. Bothered by Sin?

Did I keep making excuses for my actions and rationalize that going shopping so much wasn’t that bad? Yes, I had been doing exactly that! I kept comparing it to other sins, such as adultery, stealing, and lying, and refused to call it what it was: simple pride and greed. I finally realized that if I kept feeling zero conviction that this practice was a time and money-wasting activity, it meant that I didn’t know God. Scripture said that truly following Jesus meant that sinning must stop and all ties to it must be cut. The Holy Spirit wanted to change my nature, not just spruce up my actions. I had to realize what God’s grace truly meant: strength to change, not license to sin.

Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him. (1 John 3:6)

4. Any Spiritual Fruit?

Was any spiritual fruit growing in my life, or did I keep doing the same things over and over again, expecting different results (which is the definition of insanity, by the way)? Obviously, it wasn’t, since I had no peace of mind or self-control. I knew this fruit represented the character of Jesus, and that it was produced in believers when they lived according to the Spirit, but why didn’t I desire it more than going shopping all the time? I knew at that point that my attitude had to change to overcome this obsession.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. (Galatians 5:22–23)

5. Any Love for Others?

Was I treating church as an obligation rather than seeing it as my family and myself as members of the body of Christ? Was I pulling away from God’s people because I’d been hurt previously by some of them and wasn’t willing to forgive and let go of it? I had to ask myself whether I would let pride dictate my actions, or would I let God heal those broken places in my heart so that I could love, serve, and help others. I had to see that I could not allow bitterness to take root in my heart because it was shutting me off from the sunlight of the Spirit. I had to let God be God and trust that He would implement justice.

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. (Romans 12:19)

6. Living Like Jesus Isn’t Coming Back?

About seven years ago, I was on fire for the Lord. I would walk around Sea Isle Park in Memphis, hand out tracts, and invite people to my church. I would have the speaker turned up on my iPhone, blasting the YouTube video of the movie “Sunday Morning Rapture.” In the final scene, the Pastor said to his congregation, “One day, Jesus is coming. You may be at church, you may be at work, you may be asleep; God grant that you will be ready when He makes His personal appearance. My God, what if He appears on a Sunday morning? My prophetic word to you this morning is Get Ready, GET READY!!!” And then the trumpets played during the rapture scene from the movie “Jerusalem Countdown”. So, what has happened since then? Life has gotten so comfortable, I forgot how I felt and what it was like when I was “dead in my trespasses and sins.”

I think the Holy Spirit used my guilty conscience to poke me in the rear and show me I was becoming complacent rather than vigilant. I believe we are in or approaching the end times Jesus wrote about in the Olivet Discourse in Matthew 24–25. I realized that if I’m not prioritizing obedience to Christ, I won’t be ready when He comes. That is a terrifying thought! I see now that I can’t compromise or settle for lukewarm commitment to Jesus. He wasn’t lukewarm about His love for me when He died a horrible death on a cross to pay for my sin.

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— - Ephesians 2:1-5

7. Not Talking to God?

I had heard that one of the hallmarks of a genuine conversion experience was an ongoing sense of God’s presence. I wondered so many times if I truly had a personal relationship with Jesus. God answered my question at Bible Study, where the Pastor talked about the last “I AM” statement of Jesus: “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener,” which is about abiding in Jesus. He said that to abide in Jesus meant removing distractions, self-sufficiency, and unhealthy dependencies in my life. He asked if we were making a difference for Jesus or simply living for ourselves. That question fetched me up sharply, and I realized that I had to depend on Him daily and surrender everything to Him, or I was never going to get off the merry-go-round I was on. He said that skimping on prayer would lead to the withering of my relationship with Jesus and result in separation from Him.

Conclusion

The paradox of my dilemma is this: I’m thinking that I have to try harder and white-knuckle it to stay away from shopping, but my pastor said it’s not about that! He said that producing fruit in your life is not about working harder for Jesus; it’s about walking closer to Him. He said that when we ask for the will of God to be done in our lives, it shapes our desires. He said the vine produces the fruit, not the branches (us), and that we cannot produce fruit by our own efforts. God does the planting, sowing, and harvesting, he said. Our job is to rest in the vine.