Guarding Your Peace: How Identity in Christ Shapes Healthy Boundaries

Editor’s note – Stephanie writes about a tension many believers feel but rarely name: the call to share the Gospel boldly, and the need to guard one’s own soul from exhaustion. Her account of blocking a persistent critic, then turning to what she hears daily as a counselor, shows conviction and rest held together.

Can I pick up my cross and prioritize protecting my peace simultaneously?

The Challenge of Online Boundaries

I pose this question because yesterday I made the boundary-enforcing decision to block a fellow author on Medium. I use the title “author” loosely because, to my knowledge, he has not published any stories here; however, that is the label used when muting or blocking someone. This commenter was never rude or unkind to me. Initially, I quite enjoyed his respectful questions and engaging comments on my content — until it began to feel more like an interrogation of my personal theology. It felt like a push toward a downward spiral of deconstruction to match his own experience after fifty years as a Christian turned superior critical-thinking atheist extraordinaire. (I will continue to pray for him.)

In the end, our truly fascinating conversation was consuming far too much of my precious time and thought life. So I took the thoughts captive and made them obedient — 2 Corinthians 10:5.

I don’t claim to be an expert in apologetics or evangelism, but I do accept the call of the Great Commission, and I am happy to share my experience, strength, and hope with those who are interested in hearing it.

Discerning When to Walk Away

But God —

Also gives me permission to shake the dust off my feet and continue down the road when the Gospel I am sharing falls on deaf ears that do not welcome Biblical truths. It was a choice between continuing to write defensive dissertations back and forth in the comments or to burn the ships, discontinuing the dialogue altogether. I eventually chose the latter.

Editor’s note – Jesus told His disciples to shake the dust off their feet when a town would not receive them (Matthew 10:14). Stepping back from a fruitless conversation can be faithful stewardship.

Loving Others Well

Recently, our beloved pastor, Daniel, delivered an excellent message on caring for our souls. That message, combined with the gender confusion I consistently encounter as a professional counselor, really got me thinking about loving people’s souls well — being careful not to get too caught up in physical appearances, attributes, or sexual orientations. The Spirit spoke to my spirit and reminded me that not everyone grew up in a traditional home like mine, blessed with the kind of healthy, loving role models who inspired me in my youth. My parents would’ve celebrated 60 years of marriage, if my Dad hadn’t passed before their anniversary. They weren’t perfect, but they provided a stable home and a strong faith-based foundation that helped me form an identity based on who the Great I AM says I am.

Editor’s note – Stephanie’s caution against reducing anyone to appearance or orientation echoes how God sees people: He looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). That’s the starting point for real listening.

Comfort in My Identity

There is so much more to say on this topic, but for now, I am grateful to be comfortable in my own skin as a straight, cisgender female married to a straight, cisgender male, with a lightheartedness that comes from knowing it is well with my soul. Even when I question my core beliefs, or when my spirit grows weary and my soul is downcast on occasion, I know that when it comes to spending eternity with my best friend, Jesus, it is well with my soul.

Finding True Peace

The balance between carrying the cross and protecting our peace is found in the stillness of our identity. When we know who we are in Christ, we can engage with the world with love and grace, yet hold the firm boundaries necessary to guard our hearts. May we continue to walk this path with wisdom, knowing that true peace isn’t the absence of conflict, but the steady assurance of His presence.

Reflective Questions

• How can I discern when to engage in difficult conversations versus when it’s healthier to set a boundary?
• In what ways does knowing my identity in Christ influence the way I interact with others who hold different beliefs?
• What specific practices help me return to my “soul center” and maintain peace when I feel overwhelmed by external pressures or conflict?

A Word from the Editor
Peace, in Scripture, is never the absence of pressure – it’s the presence of Christ within it (Philippians 4:7), and it only holds when our identity is settled first in Him.

Editor Comment: Thanks for showing what it looks like to hold the Great Commission and the call to guard your heart together. That is the wisdom Proverbs 4:23 commends to every believer.

This article appeared on Medium and is reprinted with modifications and by permission.