Praying Like Jabez: Trusting God More Than Our Requests

Editor’s note – We’re drawn to prayers that admit we’d rather not hurt anyone, including ourselves, and Jabez’s short, obscure request in 1 Chronicles has quietly comforted readers for centuries. The author brings a personal, searching read to it, turning from Jabez’s name and pain toward a question many of us dodge: whether our prayers give God room to work, or box Him into our own specifications. Her reflection reads like an honest conversation rather than a lesson, and we think readers will recognize themselves in it.

The Prayer of Jabez

I don’t know about you, but I don’t enjoy pain. I try to avoid it as much as possible. I don’t want to feel pain and I don’t want to cause pain. Perhaps this is why I like the prayer of Jabez (1 Chronicles 4:9-10). I’ve been reading and meditating on it for a while now. I’ve noticed a few things.

Jabez was given his name because he caused his mother much pain during his birth. I wonder whether he felt guilty about it. Imagine being reminded that you are the cause of someone’s pain every time your name is called. I presume hearing his name wearied him; hence his request that God keep him from evil so that he may not cause pain.

I have no idea how old Jabez was when he prayed this prayer. I presume he was old enough to be bothered by his conscience. If I were in his shoes, would I make the same request?

Editor’s note – It’s worth noticing that Jabez didn’t ask God to erase his past, only to keep it from repeating. That’s a different prayer than most of us pray, and a harder one.

Choosing a Future Over a Name

Biblical history tells us that God sometimes changed people’s names because He changed their destinies. Abram changed to Abraham. Sarai changed to Sarah. Jacob changed to Israel. This tradition continued in the New Testament when Jesus changed Peter’s name. Couldn’t Jabez have asked for a change of name? Perhaps I would have had I found myself in his shoes.

But no, Jabez accepted his name. He didn’t need a change of name. He needed a change of circumstances. He couldn’t go back to change what had happened, but he could ask for a different future. He chose not to let his past determine his future. He knew he was the cause of pain in the past, innocently though, but he didn’t want to be the cause of pain in the future. Depending on the translation, he prayed either not to cause pain or not to experience it. Both are equally undesirable.

He didn’t limit his prayer to pain. He was old enough that his name had already shaped his character. He didn’t want to be defined by it. We read that he was more honorable than all his brothers. He lived in such a way as to negate the meaning of his name in his life. It makes sense, therefore, that he focused not only on pain but also asked God to enlarge his territory. I’m not sure whether this means property, influence, or both, but I know he wanted to expand. He wasn’t going to play the victim of unfair circumstances. No, he was going to rise above them. He wanted to conquer the past and live victoriously in the future. He was bold enough to pray for a bigger future than his past or his name predicted.

I think Jabez prayed this prayer once his name and circumstances had fully shaped him into the person God created him to be. He didn’t try to escape prematurely. He also didn’t tell God how to answer his prayer. He simply made his request known to God and left the details in God’s hands.

Specific Prayers or Surrendered Prayers?

I have often heard sermons on praying specific prayers. They urge us to be specific when we ask God for something. I recall someone encouraging us to give God the fine print. Be detailed. Don’t just ask for a bicycle. Ask for a blue bicycle. Be specific. This has always bothered me.

I know the Bible encourages us to come boldly to the throne of God, but I never felt that it encouraged us to come boldly with a specified shopping list. I may be wrong. Hannah requested a son specifically. God answered her prayer. He gave her Samuel. I suppose there are many instances when God answered specific prayers. I, however, feel more comfortable leaving the details in God’s hands. He knows so much better than I do.

James encouraged us not to try to get out of anything prematurely, but to let patience have its perfect work in us. He encouraged us to pray and to be firm in our prayers and our faith. Yet, even here, I don’t see him naming specifics. He does, however, encourage us not to limit God. Paul’s letter to the Ephesians reminds us that God can do much more than we can ask, think, dream or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). Why limit God with our ideas? Wouldn’t it be better to simply trust God to work everything for good in accordance with His plans and purposes?

Editor’s note – Scripture holds both kinds of prayer without contradiction: Hannah named exactly what she wanted, and Jesus asked for the cup to pass while yielding to the Father’s will. The difference isn’t the specificity of the request but the posture behind it.

Trusting God with the Outcome

Joseph experienced some horrific situations in his life, but he reached a point where he understood that God used those circumstances for good. He told his brothers that they had intended harm, but God turned it into good, using his circumstances to shape his character and to place him in a position to save many lives, including the lives of his father, brothers, and their families. He was instrumental in saving the entire nation of Israel. I’m not suggesting that we will experience exactly the same situations and results as Joseph did, but I do believe that God has a plan and a purpose for everything He allows in our lives.

I believe it’s God’s will to heal us, and I pray for healing, especially for my husband, relatives, friends and acquaintances. I pray for people I have never met. I believe God hears and answers our prayers. I ask that we not suffer or cause pain. However, how and when God answers my prayers are in His hands.

How do you view prayer? Do you pray specific prayers, giving God detailed descriptions of your wants and needs, or do you trust God with the details according to His will? Is there a right way to pray, or does it vary according to personalities and characters? Perhaps it would be prudent to pray as Jesus did. He asked God specifically to remove the cup from Him but surrendered to God’s will regarding the outcome of His request. I struggle a bit with this. Are you faring better than I am?

A Word from the Editor
Jabez asked God to enlarge his territory and keep him from evil, then left the how entirely to God. That’s the shape of trust worth imitating: naming what weighs on us honestly, then releasing the outcome to Him. Ephesians 3:20 reminds us that God works far beyond what we ask or imagine. Our prayers can be specific and still surrendered; the point was never the wording but whose hands hold the answer.

Editor Comment: Bold prayer and full surrender to God's will can live in the same request, and that is the trust Jesus modeled in Gethsemane. Closing with a question instead of a conclusion invites readers to weigh their own answer rather than accept yours.

This article appeared on Medium and is reprinted with modifications and by permission.