Trusting God in Weakness When Life Feels Unmanageable

Editor’s note – Most of us keep a mental ledger of what we can still manage ourselves, and life has a way of auditing it without warning. This author writes from an ordinary afternoon – a broken toilet cistern, a husband working with one hand, her own rising impatience – and finds Christ already present in the mess. BCW runs her reflection because that gap is where real faith starts.

When My Life Feels Out of Order

I like to have my house in order before receiving visitors. It’s okay to have the odd item out of place, but the house has to be clean and neat. I live in it so I don’t expect it to look perfect, but I feel completely ill at ease and uncomfortable if someone stops by when my house looks like the aftermath of a tornado.

However, this is what constantly happens. I never reach the point where I can confidently declare that my life is in order, with nothing out of place. No, I frequently become stressed, impatient, and abrupt (bordering on rude) when I am faced with situations I feel ill equipped to handle. Since my husband suffered a stroke a little over three years ago, I consistently feel out of my depth. The slightest problems rattle my confidence.

When I face situations that I can’t handle, I tend to snap. Attack is the best defense, is it not?

The Broken Cistern

I recently faced such a situation. The toilet cistern had to be repaired and I didn’t have the hand strength to take the broken pieces apart so that I could replace them. I didn’t know what to do. I felt so frustrated, and my husband met my frustration with his own, due to his having only one useful hand. It’s impossible to repair a toilet cistern with one hand. There isn’t much space to maneuver, so we couldn’t put our hands together to do anything about it. I felt like crying, and he felt like a failure.

Prayer was the furthest from my mind. All I could think about was how God seemed to allow such situations in my life on a regular basis. I frequently face situations that I simply can’t handle. It’s demoralizing.

Editor’s note – Notice how quickly frustration crowds out prayer the moment something breaks that we can’t fix ourselves. That instinct is the default posture of anyone who mistakes self-sufficiency for faith.

A Joseph Moment

I decided to shelve the problem. I needed space and time. God had other plans. A friend of my husband dropped in unannounced and quickly fixed the cistern. It took a few minutes.

Thinking about it, I felt like I had a Joseph experience. Just like God arranged for the caravan to pass by at the exact time to rescue Joseph and take him to Egypt, my husband’s friend traveled about an hour to arrive at our house at just the right time. God arranged for a way of escape before I was even aware of a problem.

This caused me to think about God’s presence. He doesn’t wait until my house is in order. He is with me and He never leaves me. I will never be without His presence. Being alive in my body means God is with me, and when I leave this body I will be with the Lord. There will never be a time when I will be without God, but I frequently act as if I’m completely on my own. I seem to think that I have to figure things out on my own. God never intended for me to live independently from Him.

Taking God Seriously

Jesus said:

What a generation! No sense of God! No focus to your lives! How many times do I have to go over these things? How much longer do I have to put up with this...you're not yet taking God seriously. The simple truth is that if you had a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain, 'Move!' and it would move. There is nothing you wouldn't be able to tackle. [Matthew 17:17-20]

Editor’s note – The rebuke in Matthew 17 isn’t about unbelief so much as misplaced focus – anxious self-reliance standing in for simple trust.

I had no doubt God was speaking directly to me. I had to stop focusing on my problems and start focusing on God. I had to start taking God seriously. Paul summarized this in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 when he said:

My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! [2 Corinthians 12:7-10]

Why does God allow me to constantly face situations beyond my control or ability to handle? I have come to the conclusion that it’s because He wants me to learn to focus on Him, lean on Him, and take Him seriously.

Does anyone else have similar experiences? How do you view these demoralizing situations in your life?

A Word from the Editor
Paul didn’t ask God to remove the thorn; he asked to understand it, and got grace instead. God doesn’t wait for our house to be in order before He meets us in it.

Editor Comment: Thank you for letting us watch one choose, in an unglamorous moment, between managing alone and trusting God – it's a scene many readers will recognize in their own homes.

This article appeared on Medium and is reprinted with modifications and by permission.