Editor’s note – Rina Schultz writes about the exhausting tug-of-war every believer knows: wanting God’s presence while resisting His terms. She finds herself in Ezekiel, dragged along by the Spirit while still kicking against it the whole way. We’re running this piece because it names the argument that happens before surrender, not the polished peace that comes after it.
God’s Grip
I often argue with God. He knows better, and His plans for me are superior to mine, but do you think I give in easily? Only after an exhausting battle I pray the prayer Jesus prayed in the garden: “Not my will; your will be done.”
I will forgive you for thinking that I’m being stupid. I know it. Who fights with God and wins the battle? Not I. I lose every single argument, and when I eventually surrender, I’m blessed beyond my imagination.
Imagine my surprise, when reading my Bible, I found myself keeping company with Ezekiel. I’m still shocked. Somehow, in all the years of reading my Bible, in its various translations and versions, I recently saw something that never registered with me before.
Ezekiel said: “The Spirit lifted me and took me away. I went bitterly and angrily. I didn’t want to go. But God had me in his grip.” (Ezekiel 3:14-15)
Editor’s note – Ezekiel didn’t volunteer; the Spirit took him, and he went angrily. That’s a different picture than the willing disciple we usually imagine.
I’m not the only one kicking and screaming, resisting God’s will, yet seeking His presence. I don’t want to live without Him, but I want Him to submit to my will and way of doing things. I’ve lost count of the disasters God saved me from by holding me in His grip and not letting go, so that I could not chase some harebrained idea or fruitless dream.
When I finally surrender and submit to God’s will, I argue about the methodology. The conversation usually centers on a Moses-style excuse: “God, I know what you want me to do. I don’t know how to do it.”
Editor’s note – The Moses-style excuse is common: we rarely refuse God outright, we just ask for the manual first. Scripture’s answer is the same one Moses got – obedience before clarity.
Is this your excuse as well?
Don’t you detest instructions telling you what to do without explaining how?
If I weren’t so obstinate, I would admit that God gives clear instructions in His Word. I know the instructions and I still fight them.
Do “cast your cares…take My yoke upon you… don’t worry about tomorrow…pray without ceasing…” and numerous other invitations and instructions sound familiar? If I choose to obey God and walk with Him, He leads me as a blind person on unknown paths. I don’t have to worry about stumbling, falling, or losing my way. He watches over me carefully and cares for me watchfully.
Sometimes, surrendering means placing yourself at the mercy of your captors or enemy as Israel had to do. You go where they take you and do what they tell you. You can’t always escape your situation or your circumstances. Problems don’t magically disappear when you follow Jesus. The only difference between B.C. and A.D. is His constant presence. He will walk you through whatever you need to go through. We are to keep our eyes on Him and follow Him. We shouldn’t seek our own will or try to navigate our lives our own way. He is the Shepherd. He will lead the way.
Paul told his readers that when he faced difficulties, he simply surrendered. “I let Christ take over,” he said. He didn’t say how, because he knew that the Israelites were familiar with captivity and surrender. He helpfully reminds us to pray without ceasing. We are to pray in every situation, with thanksgiving, because we can trust God. He is good, and whatever He has in store for us will ultimately be for our good and His glory, even if it means that we have to suffer for a while.
Jesus endured tremendous suffering, but He will tell you that it was worth it. As Paul said, our temporary suffering is small potatoes compared with the eternal glory we will enjoy in God’s presence.
Now, if only I can convince myself to surrender without putting up a fight. Will I ever learn?
A Word from the Editor
Jesus prayed this same surrender in Gethsemane: “Not my will, but Yours, be done” (Luke 22:42). The grip Ezekiel describes isn’t cruelty – it’s a God who loves us too much to let go of us.
Salvation – Eternal Life in Less Than 150 Words
Distributed by – BCWorldview.org
Editor Comment: Your honesty about arguing with God before surrendering to Him is a gift to readers who assume real faith means never resisting.
This article appeared on Medium and is reprinted with modifications and by permission.