Jesus taught us to love others, but honestly, some people just make it hard, right? What I’ve realized is that loving is actually about transformation — not just theirs, but mine. Each time we choose to love in difficult situations, we’re allowing ourselves to be shaped more and more into the person God calls us to be. 

So if you’re struggling to love difficult people, remember this: We are all difficult people, and Jesus who loved us at our worst, called us to do the same for others. 

The Call to Love 

Jesus makes it clear that loving others isn’t optional. In Matthew 22:39, He says, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” This love isn’t limited to those who are kind, agreeable, or easy to get along with; “your neighbor” includes everyone; those who frustrate, disagree, or push our patience to its limits.

The Bible also reminds us that none of us are perfect. Each of us has flaws, shortcomings, and moments of stubbornness or pride that can make us difficult to love. Romans 5:8 tells us, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” This truth is humbling. And if Jesus can love us in our worst moments, then we cannot only try, but we can love others, even when it feels challenging.

Let’s put it this way: We can love people when we recognize the depth of forgiveness and grace we’ve received.

“We can love people when we recognize the depth of forgiveness and grace we’ve received.”

Steps to Loving Difficult People

So, how can we put this into practice? None are easy, but each brings us closer to loving as Jesus does.

1. Stay Close to Jesus

The closer you are to Jesus, the more you find your heart becoming like His. Spend time in prayer, reading Scripture, and meditating on His example. Remember how much we’ve been forgiven, and like it says in Luke 7:47, “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven — as her great love has shown.” When we reflect on the grace God gives, it should make our hearts stretch, and we should find it easier to extend that grace and love to others.

“When we reflect on the grace God gives, it should make our hearts stretch, and we should find it easier to extend that grace and love to others.”

2. Start Small with Forgiveness

Forgiveness is central to loving well. When someone annoys or hurts us, it’s easy to hold on to it — but that builds up a wall that blocks love. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing bad behavior; it means letting go of resentment and allowing God to enter and transform our hearts. Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

“Forgiveness means letting go of resentment and allowing God to enter and transform our hearts.”

3. Practice Empathy

One powerful shift for me has been trying to see people the way Jesus does. It’s so easy to see people only through our own lens, focusing on the things that irritate us or the ways they fall short. But Jesus looks deeper, seeing beyond our mistakes to our pain and struggles. When I remember that others have their own battles, hurts, and insecurities, it helps me show compassion, and that’s the gateway to love.

“One powerful shift for me has been trying to see people the way Jesus does.”

4. Establish Boundaries

It’s essential to remember that loving someone doesn’t mean allowing harmful behaviors or letting them drain us emotionally. Setting healthy boundaries is a way to protect both ourselves and the relationship. This doesn’t mean shutting people out — it means knowing where I need to draw a line so I can keep loving without compromising our emotional and spiritual well-being. Boundaries are a way of practicing love, without burning out or building resentment.

“Boundaries are a way of practicing love, without burning out or building resentment.”

5. Pray for Them 

Praying for someone who is hard to love might feel illogical, but it can be one of the most powerful ways to transform our and their hearts. When I pray for someone I find hard to love, I find my heart softening as I lift them up in prayer, asking God to help them, bless them, or even just guide me in my attitude toward them. It’s amazing how much love grows when we approach people this way. And we also should pray for ourselves — that God would give us the patience and humility to love as He does.

Loving Daily 

Learning to love difficult people is a daily commitment that requires us to lean on God for strength, remembering that Jesus loved me in all my difficult and worst moments. And He asks me to do the same for others.