With a Subtitle: Honest faith, grief, and trusting God when life shatters every expectation.

A brief Excerpt: After losing my brother and daughter within weeks, and watching my husband struggle post-stroke, I questioned God. Can He handle my raw honesty? Discover how faith deepens through grief into a relationship built on trust.

The Author is: Rina Schultz

What Truly Defines a Relationship in Times of Trial?

I’ve been living a nightmare for the last few years, and particularly the last two months. It forced me to reevaluate my relationships.

What defines a relationship? What do we call a relationship? Why is it important?

Is it a contract, a feeling, an agreement, or a connection of certain souls? Does a relationship mean that we always agree, and that we have each other’s backs? Is it reciprocal? Is it equal? Should we feel safe in a relationship? Is it a comfort zone, or is a good relationship one that challenges us, pushes us out of our comfort zones and forces us to grow and broaden our horizons? Should we be walking on eggshells, afraid of stepping out of line? Should we fear punishment or abandonment? Are we free to speak our minds?

Professional Relationships and the Trust They Require

A visit to the doctor, a therapist, our employer, or any other professional relationship is not one of equality. We clearly have certain expectations of these professionals, and we enter into a relationship with them to meet particular needs. We don’t hang out together, and we don’t have coffee and cake together. Most of the time, we don’t even mingle in the same circles. However, even these relationships require trust and respect. We enter into a contract. We expect something from these people, and they, in turn, expect that we will keep to our side of the contract, usually involving valuing their time and paying for their services, or doing our job to the best of our ability. Failure on either side to meet expectations ends the contract. It’s a precarious relationship.

Partnerships Built on Deep Trust and Honesty

Whether we are business partners, or marriage partners, this relationship requires a deeper sense of trust and intimacy. We are emotionally invested in these relationships and betrayal in any shape or form is devastating. Trust implies honesty. If we can’t be open and honest, it’s not a relationship but merely a convenience for at least one of the partners.

Friendship Rooted in Shared Faith and Honesty

I usually build my friendships on mutual likes, dislikes, humor, and a shared outlook on life. My friends and I usually share the same faith, interests, and enjoyment of each other’s company. I trust my friends to be open and honest with me. Tell me if my breath stinks, or if my point of view is skewed. Tell me when I have a wardrobe malfunction or whether a color or style doesn’t suit me. Don’t accompany me to a venue or event because you feel obligated. Feel free to say no. There is no expectation other than enjoying each other’s company.

Vulnerability in Romantic Relationships

My husband is my best friend. I trust him with my life. I trust him to be honest with me about everything at all times. Our relationship can handle honesty. We don’t walk on eggshells around each other. We are vulnerable with each other. Sometimes this vulnerability shreds my heart and rips my emotions. Sometimes, it’s too much to handle.

When Daily Burdens Break Our Spirit

Last night was one of these times. I’m not a handyman. I’m not good with tools, or repairing broken things. Lately, I’ve had many such challenges. Faucets had to be replaced and last night the cistern of the toilet broke. It broke my spirit, and my inability to deal with yet another challenge caused my husband to break down and cry because he couldn’t help me fix it. Since the stroke he has not had the use of his right hand. He’s right-handed. Prior to the stroke, there was nothing he couldn’t repair. Now, he can’t hold a tool, let alone use it. It caused him to feel inadequate and useless, while I felt powerless, hopeless and frustrated.

We cried together. What else could we do? We don’t have money to hire anyone’s services. Somehow we need to find a way to overcome this additional burden. Hopefully, with time, we will find a way.

Faith — My Relationship with God Under Scrutiny

This brings me to the most important relationship in my life. This is my relationship with God. Can I even call it a relationship? We are not equal, not in position, or ability. Am I free to speak my mind? Am I free to question God? Am I honest and open about my struggles, or am I toeing the line out of fear of punishment or ending up in hell? Is this relationship based on fear or faith? Do I honestly trust that God is good, and that He has good intentions toward me? Looking at all the challenges I faced, and still face each day, do I really believe that God loves me? What type of love stands idly by watching a loved one struggle, fall, or fail? Why did God allow these things? How do I reconcile my lived experiences with God’s character? Does it even help to pray?

When Family Tragedy Tests Our Prayers

I prayed for my brother. I thought God had answered my prayers when my nephew bought a house so that my brother and sister-in-law could have a relaxed and worry free retirement. Yet, less than two months later, my brother died. He didn’t get to enjoy his new home. Likewise, my daughter. I prayed that she would mature, become a responsible adult, and settle in a loving and stable relationship. I prayed that she would find peace as it eluded her after the death of her baby boy seven years ago. She died in a car accident two weeks after my brother. Is this how God answers my prayers? If this is the result of my praying, perhaps it’s safer for my loved ones if I stop praying.

When You Are the One Lost Lamb God Seeks

I was reminded of the parable of the shepherd looking for the one stray lamb, leaving the 99 to find the one that has lost its way. I am the one. I’m not part of the 99. I used to think I was, but I was wrong. I have lost my way. I poured my heart out before God. I told Him exactly how I felt. What would He do with my truth?

This morning, out of the blue, a friend sent me a message. It was Isaiah 43. He assured me that God has me. He’s holding me. He will not drop me.

Can God handle my honesty? The answer is clearly yes.

Somehow, the same way He helped the Israelites find a way through the Red Sea to escape the Egyptian army, He will help me find a way to deal with my challenges. Just as He expected the Israelites to gather manna only for the day, each day, He wants me to trust Him for my needs for the day. I’m not to hold on to my yesterdays, nor my fears for tomorrow. He’s present today. I can trust Him for today.

I’m grateful that I can call this a relationship, not one based on fear of punishment or hell, but built on trust and confidence that God loves me and that His love for me will not change. I can share my frustrations, hopes, fears, and struggles with Him without fearing rejection. He will never change, and His Word assures me that absolutely nothing will separate me from His love.

I don’t understand everything. I don’t have an answer for every question. I accept that God sees more than I do, knows more than I do, and that the hidden things belong to Him. I choose to trust Him and rest in His love for me.

How do you understand God’s love? How do you view a relationship with God? Do you feel safe with Him? Are you open and honest with Him?